Maternity leave, labour standards and employer loopholes

Ok, lame title for a blog entry, I know. I wanted something snappy but at 10:20 pm after dealing with an under-the-weather toddler all day this is as good as I'm going to do; as good as you're going to get.

Not too long ago I was talking to a woman in New Brunswick who told me the story of receiving a termination letter while on Mat Leave. She contacted her former employer, told them they were in violation of Labour Standards. In addition she stipulated what she felt was fair compensation. Her former employer paid up, she went on her way. Her decisiveness impressed me. She wasn't going to be a victim. She stood up for herself. Things worked out. Rewind two years when I still lived in Newfoundland.

A friend & co-worker of mine was in a similar situation. She was an assistant working two part-time jobs for two different employers who shared an office. My friend suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum. She missed a lot of time at work. Laying in a hospital bed hooked up to an IV can do that, you know. Her doctor decided to grant a medical leave from work when she was about four months pregnant. Her employers breathed a sigh of relief. They hired a replacement assistant.

As my friend's Mat Leave neared its end her former employers were in a quandry. They didn't want her back, citing her earlier sickness (due to the pregnancy) as their reason. But you cannot fire someone for taking a medical leave, nor can you fire someone for taking Mat Leave. What to do? They decided to do some "re-structuring." One consultant chose to take on a full time assistant and terminate his need for a part-timer. He hired the assistant who had been chosen to fill the maternity leave vacancy. The other consultant would take back my friend as a part-timer and hope that the part-time hours would force her to look for another position.

Exactly one day before her Maternity Leave ended my friend recieved a letter informing her that her position with Consultant X had been terminated. She was stymied. She visited the Labour Standards office where she was told she had two options: 1. Labour Standards could contact Consultant X and point out that by law he had to give my friend her job back or 2. she could take compensation pay - two weeks worth of part-time salary. The job, of course, right? Right?! Wrong.

Although Labour Standards could win my friend's job back all the power lay with her employer. He could re-hire her on a Monday, fire her on a Tuesday with little reason and that would be that. My friend took the measly compensation package.

We learned a couple of valuable lessons. First, not all Labour Standards rules actually work for employees. Some of them serve the employers first. Second, we learned a hard lesson about the work world. Even if you're great at what you do and have a good rapport with your employer it doesn't take much to fall out of favour, including illness. The cogs must turn and be damned what else is going on. Which brings me to the third part in our lesson - always be prepared! Really do work on building your three month cushion of savings. You might need it when you least expect it.

Love, loss and the internet

A friend of my husband suffered a hard loss yesterday. The woman he loves was killed in a car accident. We live in a different province now and we found out online instead of the usual channels. What was once a private loss for loves, family and friends is now disseminated through Facebook status updates, tweets and texts. Suddenly the whole world shares our loss and can grieve with us; and it does. Strangers are invited to join "in memory of" groups. They do. More now than ever before we can feel and see that we aren't alone in our grief. We can write it out and be read.

E.M. Forster wrote: "Only connect the prose and the passion, and both will be exalted, and human love will be seen at its height. Live in fragments no longer." Though I have taken this quote out of context I think what I'm trying to say is still there. At first I worried that contacting someone by e-mail to offer condolences was a faux-pas of some sort, or was somehow less heartfelt because it wasn't sent in a card, but I feel differently now. No matter the distance or the emotional spaces between, we can connect through our words. Language is imperfect but sometimes it's all we have.

I realise it's close to the holidays, but I felt I needed to get this out. Life happens on every day of the year. Hold your loved ones close. Share your joy and even your sorrow. Despite how you might feel you really aren't alone.

Top 12 Chocolates for Christmas

I've never met anyone who eats as much chocolate as I do. That sounds like a boast. I assure you it is not. However, I do eat a lot of it - milk, dark, bittersweet, semi-sweet and in a pinch I entertain white chocolate. I'm as picky over chocolate as some people are over wine or coffee. My training has been informal and is based entirely on my palate. I don't expect all people will agree with my selections. For example, you will never find those Lindt Lindor Truffles on any top list of mine. Their cocoa butter content is far too high for my liking. They melt on the tongue like little globs of chocolate-flavoured fat. I don't like Moritz Icy Cups either. Same reason. Yet there are numerous people who love these treats and are shocked to learn that I don't. Please don't start thinking I'm a chocolate snob - I'm really not. I follow Nigella Lawson's motto: "If it tastes good, eat it." So without further defending my chocolate preferences, my personal top 12. In no particular order:

* Pot of Gold Excellence. Please don't roll your eyes at me. The new Excellence collection contains soft caramels, nut creams and nut-chocolate combinations. Very smooth, creamy and sweet.

* Le Chocolat 9-piece hand-decorated chocolate collection. You can only get these at Shoppers Drug Mart. Beautiful to look at, lovely to eat. The only chocolate rich enough to bring me close to feeling ill. (Yes, that's a recommendation and a warning in one, folks).

*Lindt Excellence Chili Bar Dark chocolate with hints of red chili. Not a hot and spicy chocolate. This pick is good for someone who's a little adventurous but not too daring.

* Godvia Chocoiste Chocolate Covered Strawberries. Decadent, decadent, decadent. Good with champagne or a nice cup of tea.

* Botticelli Cashew Butter Truffle Christmas Tree. A nice alternative to peanut butter and chocolate. The cashew butter has a richer, lighter flavour and balances nicely with the milk chocolate.

* Henry & David Four-in-One Fruit Chocolates Sweet & chewy pieces of dried blueberries, bing cherries, strawberries and peaches. I will admit the pastel coloured coatings were a bit off-putting but not so much that it stopped me taking a taste or four or twelve.

* PC British Chocolate Biscuit Collection Hubby & I mowed through a box of these by ourselves in two days. This is not to say we have no self-control. This is to say that these biscuits are delicious.

*Merci Finest Selection in Dark Chocolate or Milk Chocolate My in-laws brought me a pack of these from Germany and now I see you can get them at Wal-Mart and Shoppers Drug Mart. These are nice as after-dinner chocolates with guests. Pieces are individually wrapped and the flavours are clearly marked. Also includes a marzipan chocolate which my friend Cat & I personally love, though we are told marizpan is an accquired taste.

* Toblerone Honey & Almond Nougat Common as dirt and oh so good. There's also a recipe for a delectable Toblerone Cheesecake floating around cyberspace. Use Google. ;)

* Cocoa Camino Fair Trade Chocolate Bars Smooth, creamy and delicious. The best Fair Trade chocolate ever. Cocoa Camino also makes a toothsome white chocolate slab that includes cocoa nibs. This is the only white chocolate I like to eat.

* Green & Black's Organic For something a little different try the Maya Gold or Ginger bars. The ginger is candied and crispy with just a little bite. The Maya Gold combines cinnamon and other spices to create a Mexican style chocolate.

* Lily O'Brien's Just try them all. I swear my entire second trimester weight gain was due entirely to Lily O'Brien's Sticky Toffees. Seriously addictive.

If you have any favourites you think I should take a look at please leave a comment or e-mail me. I'm always willing to expand this list to be a top 15... 20... 25.

Oh, hai! I Broked the Guvermint (or Why I Have A Coalition-Led Headache)

Friends and readers, I usually keep my scant political opinions to myself. Today I feel inclined to use this as a venting space else my throbbing head might explode. I am tired of Coalition rhetoric. I am tired of Harper's rhetoric. I am tired of hearing the cheers, "Ding Dong, the wicked PM is dead!" I am tired of cries of, "This is a threat to democracy." And so, these are the two issues I will address: the state of the PM and democracy in general.

A "no confidence" vote is not undemocratic. Think of it as a panic button that is there to be pushed should the need arise. The need did arise when Stephen Harper strongly hinted he wanted to cut funding to the Opposition. Why would the Opposition agree and sign away their funding? They wouldn't. The option to have this vote is necessary so we don't end up with a dictatorship. However, that vote has yet to happen because Harper may prorogue the government. This means the legislature will be shut down and Harper starts another campaign smear against the Coalition. Right now Stephen Harper is still the PM, but very well could be the PM in name only. The House does not have confidence in his ability to lead.

Right now our Government is broken. It cannot lead. The Coalition cannot lead. NO ONE can lead right now. Canada is waiting for Gov.Gen. Michaelle Jean to make a decision - ask the Coalition to form a government or call another election. And until the GG comes to this decision we wait with a broken Government and peoples' emotions boiling over. Whatever the outcome, we are headed for another election sooner rather than later. And when it happens I'll be voting. Until then I will watch the news, I will read articles and I will keep the rest of my political opinions to myself... and take Tylenol as needed.

Consumable Christmas

Stephanie, a friend of mine dreaded Christmas but not for the usual reasons - getting things ready on time, crowded shops, long queues at the cash. She dreaded the arrival of Christmas morning when her home would be taken over by gigantic presents given to her children by grandparents intent on outdoing the others' extravagance. This issue was compounded by the divorces and re-marriages of both her parents and her husband's parents; not the usual set of two dueling grandparents, but four sets.

One year after a Power Wheels Jeep, Little Tykes Cottage, 5-foot-tall dollhouse and an air hockey table held sway in her family and dining rooms she'd reached the end of her patience with gifts given in a displaced sense of the season. She didn't like that her children were becoming used to large, expensive items and was concerned they would develop a sense of entitlement, perhaps even disappointment if they did not receive things like this. Knowing she would be stepping on some toes and perhaps ruffling more than a few feathers, Stephanie spoke with all four couples. The reactions were varied but in the end a compromise was reached - one large gift the four couples could share the cost of, but anything else had to be "consumable". Consumable in the sense that if it couldn't be eaten or used up within a year it was not to be given.

That first Consumable Christmas brought some snarking that always seems to accompany change. The grandparents seemed unsure what to give. The second Consumable Christmas brought some pleasant surprises - cookies made from old family recipes, outings to ski parks and bowling. As a result the grandchildren, my friend and her husband were spending time differently with the grandparents. Focus shifted from the stress of vying for the most popular gift to better spending their time together. They talked, did things together, connected. I try to keep this in mind each year when I start to put stress on myself.

I admit I don't have a neat, concise ending for this post. Instead of forcing my sleep-deprived self (my one-year-old is feeling the effects of immunization plus he's cutting molars) I will just end with some links to things that make good "Consumable Christmas" gifts.

This month's edition of "Good Housekeeping" has an article on "Homemade Christmas Gifts in a Jar." Especially good is the recipe for Fig & Walnut Cheese Balls. For the person who loves buttery cookies Paula Deen's Five Layer Bars is the ticket. Someone presented my Mom with a jar of Friendship Tea a few years ago and we still make it. Make your own hot chocolate mix or use this as a base recipe to do a flavoured mix.

Non-edible consumables at the top of my list include Lush's Holiday Bubble Bar and the Lush Pud Bath Bomb. If you know a couple in need of a night out, give them some movie passes and, if they have children, offer to baby-sit. In general I'm wary of making a donation to a charity in someone's name, but I have one Aunt who would prefer to see a donation made to the SPCA than to see anything under her tree. If you think your gift recipient would appreciate a donation to their favourite charity or cause, have at!

Adventures in Sushi

This evening my darling husband took me out for my first real Sushi experience. I'm sure I made quite an idiot of myself with awkward attempts at using chop sticks. My internal mantra for the evening: "They've seen this and worse. They've seen this and worse." It wasn't very helpful. Never in my life have I felt so utterly and completely out of my culinary comfort zone. And I refused to ask for a fork. Just stubborn, I guess.

Hubs has been enjoying Sushi for a while. He's quite pleased when he finds a good piece of Sashimi tuna. He was disappointed when my Sashimi tuna experience ended discreetly folded in a paper napkin. I did try. My brain refused to get past the "Good gravy, I'm eating raw fish!" feeling. I chewed twice. I considered my options. I took the napkin.

The evening wasn't a total failure. The Tempura Veggie starter was delicious; subtle flavours and a couple of surprises the biggest of which was a wedge of deep fried apple. I liked it with the soy sauce dip. Sweet and salty, how can a person go wrong? I enjoyed the Maki greatly. I couldn't identify anything I ate except the California Rolls and the Unagi. Unagi could easily become a favourite of mine since the flavour quickly got me past the "ewwww" factor of the tiny, wiry bones. I think, however, one of the most lovely parts of the evening was simply the presentation.

Maki Rolls are lovely little mosaics adorned with jewel-toned fish roe. Seafoam rosettes of wasabi, lacy piles of pink pickled ginger, the diorama of seafood and sticky rice. I've never been one to photograph my restaurant meals, no matter how elaborate the presentation, but the Sushi tempted me. In the end I didn't do it. I just enjoyed, eating with my eyes first and my belly second. Oh, and my fingers, much to hubby's chagrin.

Confessions of a Foodie

Everyone I know has an issue with food. Some people hate to think about it for various reasons and others love it too much. I fall into the "love it too much" camp. It's not just that I eat well, often and with gusto it's that I also think about food a lot. I'm a meal planner. Every week I draw up a dinner plan that includes a main dish and at least one side. I make notes in my recipe books.

When Jon gifted me with "How To Be A Domestic Goddess" and "Forever Summer" I was touched and I'm quite certain I got a little teary. I don't recall a display like that when he presented me with an engagement ring. So you see, I really am food centered. To the point of ridiculousness. I get excited when I know people are coming to stay. Knowing that I'm cooking for an audience (of more than my usual two) is exciting for me. An adventurous palate is preferred, but I've come to view the blander palate as a challenge as well, though begrudgingly. I mean, what is the point of a drawer filled with herbs and spices if I cannot use them? Interestingly, the most boring of palates never seem to mind salt, and I'm learning that salt is so much more than iodized sodium chloride.

Right now I have two types of sea salt - rock sea salt in a grinder and some grey, lacy fleur de sel that has a slightly mineral finish and melts oh so wonderfully into food. This afternoon I spied a display of coloured salts at Bulk Barn. If it wasn't for the outrageous price tags on these little jars I'd have bought the set. Hawaiian salt, Himalayan salt, flaked Australian salt, smoked salt, infused salts, oh my! A pastel array of pinks, greys, blues. I felt dizzy for a moment. And yes, I know these salts are just the food fashion of today. Fleur de sel and dark chocolate has become such a popular combination that it's nearly a gastronomical cliche. Even Lindt makes a fleur de sel product. However, the fact remains that I want this latest fad in my kitchen too. I want to play around with these ingredients, want to learn what I can by using them.

At the moment my parents are my house guests. They are both on low sodium diets so my gourmet salt wish list can be put on hold for now, but it doesn't stop me dreaming or drooling (I told you I have a problem). In the meantime I will cook food as tasty as it can be on limited seasonings (my parents prefer blander tastes in addition to their low sodium requirements) and plan at least one kick-ass dessert - Kate's Apple Pie with Luscious Caramel Sauce (recipe, Kate's; name, mine). Hey, it is made with unsalted butter.